Arte Povera – affordable art
Brücke, die – German successors to the Fauvists (later disbanded amid accusations of Fauvoritism)
colour – the new ‘black’
deconstruction – critic’s hatchet-job
Edvard Munch – AaaaaaaaAAAAARRRGHH!!
Freud – act of ripping people off
Gauguin – one employed in knocking out Tahitian pearl necklaces
homage – plagiarism
installation – what curators do
Johns/Jaspers – suckers punters
kunst – art-dealers (those committing Freud)
Land Art – gardening
modernism – everything since 1872
Neo – ‘new’. As in Neo-Expressionism: expressing old ideas for new money
Objet Trouvé (‘found object’) – where there’s luck, there’s brass
Pompidou – the 19th President of la Republique Francaise. Not an artist
‘Qu’est-ce que le (freakin’) deuce?!’ – French expletive (cf. spazialismo.)
Ryman – retail stationer, Brit. Sells pens, paints, white canvasses, etc.
‘spazialismo!’ – most-frequently uttered put-down in contemporary art criticism (recent 12-month survey conducted by the University of Aesthetic Studies, Milan)
Tjapaltjarri – Aboriginal onomatopoeia indicating intellectual mortification
uglée – work of self-evident genius
video art – film
white –
 

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From the programme for Broken Leg Theatre Company’s sell-out production of Yasmina Reza’s ‘Art’, British Council, Colombo, July 1st-3rd.