— The Nelson Evening Mail, June 14 1907

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The Sports Direct on Baker Street has actually closed down.

A fifty-five-legged creature would be a pentekaipentekontapus.

The best way to praise a poet is to write a poem.

Truth is truth and nothing which you can report can affect it in any way, though it may excite the emotions and allay the curiosity of a number of very ineffectual people.

The supposition that it is necessary to feed the Cobra Lily a piece of hamburger or an insect daily is erroneous.

Pairs of prime numbers that are 6 apart are known as ‘sexy primes’.

The battle of Waterloo was won on the playing-fields of Eton.

A man will don his jacket in the same way every day.

It takes thirty seconds to have a dream and thirty minutes to recount it.

Eight billionaires currently possess as much wealth as the world’s 3.6bn poorest inhabitants.

The United States Dictionary of Occupational Titles does not account for being a ‘Philosopher’.

Scuba divers roll backwards off boats because if they rolled forwards they would just go into the boat.

The code words in the system are pure guesswork.