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for Harry

When Edward was king, Harold,
an English earl, and his horsemen rode to
Bosham, to the church there.
Harold then crossed the sea,
his sails full of wind, and came into the domain of Count Guy.

Guy took Harold prisoner, and
leading him away to Beaurain,
held him captive there.
Harold and Guy spoke much together.
Messengers from Duke William came to
Guy, and, in turn,
a messenger was sent back to Duke William.
Guy surrendered Harold to
William, Duke of the Normans.
Duke William and Harold
returned to William’s palace.

Duke William
and his army drew near to Mont Saint-Michel,
and there crossed over the Couesnon -
Earl Harold pulling many of them from the quicksands -
to Dol.
Conan turned and fled, at Rennes.
Duke William’s soldiers fought
against the men of Dinan, and
Conan gave up the keys to the city. William gave Harold arms.
William then returned to Bayeux,
where Harold swore an oath to him.

.                                                    Earl Harold
then returned
to England, and came
to King Edward. From his bed,
King Edward addressed his subjects, and then he died.
His body was taken to the church of St Peter
the Apostle. They gave
his crown to Harold, in the presence of Archbishop Stigant,
and so he was enthroned, King of the English.
The people wondered at a passing comet.

A ship from England
took the news to Duke William’s country. William
gave instruction ships be built,
and they dragged them down to the sea
and, taking carts, carried arms and wine to them.
Duke William, in the biggest boat,
crossed the sea
and landed at Pevensey.
The horses disembarked
from the ships and the soldiers hastened away
to Hastings, to burn houses and to pillage food.
Animals were roasted, and served up by the servants.
Bishop Odo blessed the food and drink,
and they made their feast. The order was given
for the digging of a stronghold in the camp at Hastings.

News of Harold came to William,
and his knights rode out from Hastings
to the place where they would
fight against the king.
Duke William questioned one
Vital, if he had himself set eyes on Harold’s army.
Another man gave word of William’s
forces to King Harold. Duke William
exhorted his men to ready
themselves both wisely and
courageously for the fight against
the English army.

The battle was joined, and
here were struck down
Leofwine and Gyrth, the brothers of King
Harold. Bishop Odo
bearing his staff, fortified the young soldiers -
and as many died, both French and English,
in the fighting.
But the French fought hard,
Duke William in the midst of them,
and those who were with Harold
began to fall.
Then Harold was killed,
and the English turned, and fled.

Lines composed upon a can of Stella, spilt over my laptop

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Your Carthaginian-General-who-is-Unfairly-Deemed-Less-Noteworthy-than-his-Carthaginian-General-Brother Name is:


Dr Johnfon’s Ducktionary – or; fome juvenilia, revifed upon mature confideration

In this place (as oppofed to that)
Is repofited horizontally a
Hearty, wholefome and falubrious
Young male exemplum of fub-genus
Water fowl (be it wild or be it tame),

The accufative fingular of which
Samuel Johnson – Artium Magifter,
Legum Doctor (honoris caufa) -
Did trample and crufh most
Contemptibly beneath his foot;

Suppofing it be granted that
The neutral demonftrative had
Continued in a ftate of animation,
The fituation manifefting thereupon
Were fome condition of felicity,

On account that confequentially
The firft perfon plural pronoun
Had found themfelves in poffeffion
Of a number of the aforementioned animal
Not readily divifible into equal portions.

The Top Fifteen Or So Wittiest Oscar Wilde Quotes – according to his Twitter output (last 24hrs)

1) ‘Think tattoos have to be bold and dark? Think again! Check out these stunning white ink tats!’

2) ‘You can’t get your childhood back but you can recreate it! Check out these awesome recreation photos.’

3) ‘Wanna see a real-life Barbie doll? This is not Photoshopped! You’ve gotta see this to believe it’

4) ‘Watch Miley Cyrus transform before your eyes… Hard to believe it’s the same person in all these pics!’

5) ‘Trying to win a girl’s heart? You MUST read these tips first – We bet you didn’t know #6!’

6) ‘Fox Village Is Probably The Cutest Place On Earth!’

7) ‘WTF Wedding Pictures! I can’t believe these are real wedding photos!’

8) ‘Would you ever pose intimately with a stranger? These people did! #9 will make you laugh!’

9) ‘Better Options At Quarterback For The Jets’

10) ‘We’ve all heard #11, but some of these lies men tell might surprise you!’

11) ‘Understanding this will make your life easier: Girlfriends Logic’

12) ‘Why would anyone announce their pregnancy via text? It’s probably not a good idea!’

13) ‘These Piercings Take Pain to a New Level! Why would you put a hole there?’

14) ‘Ugly ducking celebs: I can’t believe Taylor Swift used to look like this!’

15) ‘WTF strikes again! These tattoos are cringeworthy.’

16) ‘Think u know all there is to know about kissing? Think u can identify these kisses? Go ahead and try them, if u dare.’

17) ‘This Is Why Women Live Longer Than Men :D These guys are all probably dead. (Not really dead)’

18) ‘I must wish Morrissey a happy birthday!’

19) ‘When it comes to relationships, technology is not always your friend. Make sure you send to the right person’


Your Afrikaans-Translator Name is

L’Angoustine Bezuidenhout

Enclosures. [fragments]

We advise you to take delivery of securities purchased fr
bankers. We prefer this course and we always advise our

Trustees of the
Economic Bank of
Form upon which to
put forward by the Tr

……….We shall be gl
return it to us as quickl
the proposals being carrie
being a payment at the rate
of 740 “A” and “B” Shares




The statements set out herein are compiled from variou
we believe them to be accurate. Our income is partly deriv
and in advising purchases we do not exclude recommenda

Ayenbite of Inwyt

Against the temptings of the Devil, say the following:

‘Sweet Jesu, by thine holy blood
that thou sheddest, and thy rood,
for me and for mankind -
I entreat Him be my shield
against the wicked enemy
unto my life’s end.
So be it.’

This book is Master Michel’s of Northgate, written in English by his own hand – namely, The Pricking of the Conscience – and is of the book-house of Saint Augustine’s, Canterbury, with the letters ‘C.C.’


Holy Archangel Michael,
Saint Gabriel, and Raphael:
Thou bring’st me to thy castle,
Where all souls fareth well.


Lord Jesu, almighty king, that made and watches over everything,
I that am thy making, to thine bliss me thou bring. Amen.

Blind and deaf and also dumb, of seventy years all fully round,
May I not be brought to ground for penny, Mark, or for a pound.

Bertrand Russell wishes you a happy marriage

for Paul and Beth (from volumes found at their engagement party)

‘Whitehead and Russell’s
Principia Mathematica is famous for taking a thousand pages to prove that 1+1=2.’
— Mark Dominus

‘To say shortly why one values love is not easy.’
— Bertrand Russell


I know what life and love may be.

If alpha and beta are in the set of all sets with exactly one element, then

Love is an experience in which our whole being is renewed and refreshed, as is that of plants by rain after drought.

alpha and beta’s intersection is disjoint if and only if

Love is to be valued in itself as a source of delight – and its absence as a source of pain.

alpha and beta’s union is the set of all sets with exactly two elements.

People when they fall in love look for a little haven of refuge from the world.

If alpha equals the set containing x and beta equals the set containing y

Love can only flourish as long as it is free and spontaneous

then alpha and beta’s union is in the set of all sets with exactly two elements

which makes a serious love the most fructifying of all human experiences.

if and only if x is not equal to y.

I do not pretend that love in its highest form is common.

This is true if and only if

I want love to be like a beacon fire lighting up the darkness.

the intersection of the set containing x

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal to true happiness.

and the set containing y

The kind of love I can believe in is adventurous and open-eyed.

is disjoint.

It does not pretend to be sanctified or holy.

This is true if and only if

A man may consider himself such a dreadful person that no one could possibly love him.

the intersection of alpha and beta is disjoint.

And in old days women were driven into marriage by the intolerable conditions of life for the spinster.

If Assertion One is true then if it is true that there exist x and y

Our emotions in regard to love and marriage are becoming standardised according to Hollywood’s recipe.

such that alpha is the set containing x

The traditional moralist will say that love should be unselfish

and beta is the set containing y

but it should undoubtedly be of such a nature that one’s happiness is bound up in its success.

then alpha and beta’s union is in the set of all sets

Love increases in value in proportion as more of the personalities of the people concerned enter into the relationship.

with exactly two elements

He should not rule in her province.

if and only if

Still less should she rule in his.

alpha and beta’s intersection is disjoint.

Love should be an equal relation.

If Assertion Two is true, then the present proposition is true.

Salvation can only come through love.

From this proposition it will follow

The philosopher should marry.

that 1+1=2.

Lucretius sees no harm in sexual intercourse.

The above proposition is occasionally useful.