Skip to content

Category Archives: Fictions

WHAT’S YOUR FULL NAME, RANK, AND SERIAL NUMBER (SPECIAL OPS EDITION)?

Your Full Name, Rank, and Serial Number (Special Ops Edition) is: ‘Bob’ .

WHAT’S YOUR CARTHAGINIAN-GENERAL-WHO-IS-UNFAIRLY-DEEMED-LESS-NOTEWORTHY-THAN-HIS-CARTHAGINIAN-GENERAL-BROTHER NAME?

Your Carthaginian-General-who-is-Unfairly-Deemed-Less-Noteworthy-than-his-Carthaginian-General-Brother Name is: Hasdrubal .

WHAT’S YOUR AFRIKAANS-TRANSLATOR NAME?

Your Afrikaans-Translator Name is L’Angoustine Bezuidenhout .

Translator’s Note (after Khemiri, after Heti, after Valtat, after Coetzee, after Nooteboom, after Martin, after Kierkegaard)

What I would like to say by way of introduction to my essays on the art of writing, by A.B.C.D.E.F. Godthaab* (* Bear with me, please, while I endeavour to explain what is going on here.) . Twelve years ago, I wrote, with considerable emotional anguish, a long novel about a war against the languages. [...]

A short story

I am currently in possession of two secrets: . . . …

The hashtags of Omar Khayyam

#verses #wine #bread #thou (Enow?)

Joke

A cafetière falls down the stairs. *¡Bodum CRASH!*

‘Not to be’

Invited to decline the future of ‘to be’, I declined it in the here and now.

On the back of a picture postcard

I oughta have brought you here.

Why Peter Ackroyd publishes more than me

Her argument Peter Ackroyd is a genius. Peter Ackroyd is a workaholic. Peter Ackroyd is a Brilliant Man. My argument Peter Ackroyd doesn’t have a girlfriend.