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Tag Archives: children

All fact up

Trailer for the ‘new’ and ‘improved’, all-singing-no-dancing, NEWS AT A GLANCE – coming soon to a Queen Mob’s Tea House near you! – For Queen Mob’s Tea House

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Electricity is now used to improve the complexion. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 4 1908 . The Chinese Christian warlord Feng Yu-xiang (1882–1948) baptised his troops en masse, using a firehose. Vincent Kompany has suffered more than 40 injuries. Time passes very slowly when you’re in a hippo’s mouth. Poetry must be entered into by a personal encounter, or [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. More than nine-tenths of the railway passengers in England travel third-class. — The Nelson Evening Mail, October 20 1906 . ‘The is cat washing dishes’ is an 18th-century expression for the reflection of water on the walls of a room. A skate’s vagina is anatomically similar to a woman’s. Just because a thing is true does not mean that [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. For use during military manoeuvres the Kaiser has a portable house, made of asbestos. — The Nelson Evening Mail, June 22 1909 . A six-year-old has become a multimillionaire, reviewing toys on YouTube. The US has the world’s 2nd highest prison population, with 693 prisoners per 100,000. Icelandic sea cucumbers fetch £438 per kilogram. ‘Word up’ [...]

Veterans of modern wars

In a mid-September interview with the Sunday Telegraph, Baron Richards of Herstmonceux (GCB, CBE, DSO, DL – better known as General David Richards, former Chief of the Defence Staff) made a comment to the effect that “a part-time soldier cannot be as effective as someone who’s devoted his life to it and puts on a [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. On the body of a man who committed suicide in the canal at New Gravel Lane, Stepney, a hospital card was found marked “delusions”.’ — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 6 1909 . The new Norwegian Bible translation is by no means a rush job. Gieves & Hawkes is the cheapest Top 10 London tailor. [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. From the deepest pit we may see the stars. — The Nelson Evening Mail, August 28 1906 . Armadillos are incapable of irony. Greek prostitutes bill their clients in six-minute units. One of the stars of early-Nineties cult TV show Twin Peaks was called Suburbis Polaski. It is rarely useful to have studied Latin. A ‘wineglassful’ is an [...]

Late-summer afternoon

Kids cricket, lambs out, blackberries in the hedgerows. A rope-like dog-turd.

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. There are more fragrant white flowers than of any other colour. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 13 1908 . The inhabitants of Ipswich are the least passionate in the UK, having sex on average only 18 times per annum. Gazelles are quite amenable to snuff. Russian composer Dmitri Shostakovich was a fully-trained football referee and [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. There are always 1,200,000 people afloat on the seas of the world. — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 22 1907 . It is a German conceit, that the vertebrae are absolutely undeveloped skulls. Vladivostock is 1000km east of Beijing. The Publications Manual of the American Psychological Association allows for two spaces after a full stop [...]