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Tag Archives: girlfriends

Everyman, I will go with thee, and be thy Bluffer’s Guide

Last weekend I played host to a particularly friendly cricket match – by which I mean that both teams had no clue what they were doing. The opposition, Rain Men, were captained by my friend and usual team-mate Simon, whose excuse was that he’d only played the game 263 times previously. The other captain was, [...]

The Kings and I

A festive gripe about Cornelius’s lovely ‘Three Kings‘ – and the solo I have never got to sing in it. – For The Oldie

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. In the United Kingdom 200 out of every million persons are employed as writers or editors. — The Nelson Evening Mail, April 2 1907 . No-one has been found in a major search along the Torridge. ‘Pog mahone’ means ‘kiss my arse’, in Gaelic. Some people do not like to read instructions. In South Africa [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The honorary freedom of the borough of Rye in Sussex confers upon the freemen the privilege of kissing the mayoress. — The Nelson Evening Mail, March 21 1907 . When you register your child at birth, it immediately becomes the legal property of the state. In WW2 German physicists were able to discern the [...]

The Top Fifteen Or So Wittiest Oscar Wilde Quotes – according to his Twitter output (last 24hrs)

1) ‘Think tattoos have to be bold and dark? Think again! Check out these stunning white ink tats!’ 2) ‘You can’t get your childhood back but you can recreate it! Check out these awesome recreation photos.’ 3) ‘Wanna see a real-life Barbie doll? This is not Photoshopped! You’ve gotta see this to believe it’ 4) [...]

That situation

where you’re chatting up some girl ever so casually in a pub or a library or wherever, really, for a good half-hour or more only subsequently to realise you have one of your girlfriend’s hairs – a foot long, reddish, with noticeable purple highlights – stuck somehow to the front right shoulder of your sweater.

Nightmare

Best mate, in a bar, arm around his ex-girlfriend. I walk out. …………..Again.

A poet’s room (after Oppen)

A poet’s room, these days, is probably his girlfriend’s, or an upstairs corner of his mother’s house – unless, with luck, he’s made it big, or, being smart, just married into money.

Why Peter Ackroyd publishes more than me

Her argument Peter Ackroyd is a genius. Peter Ackroyd is a workaholic. Peter Ackroyd is a Brilliant Man. My argument Peter Ackroyd doesn’t have a girlfriend.