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Tag Archives: humour

Everyman, I will go with thee, and be thy Bluffer’s Guide

Last weekend I played host to a particularly friendly cricket match – by which I mean that both teams had no clue what they were doing. The opposition, Rain Men, were captained by my friend and usual team-mate Simon, whose excuse was that he’d only played the game 263 times previously. The other captain was, [...]

“Festooned with Saxons” – or; How great-grandfather won the Triple Crown

‘If success does not throw the Irishmen off their balance, they may go on winning and winning until the height of a season’s ambition may be attained.’ — Athletic News and Cyclists’ Journal, 3 February 1896 . When it comes to the 6 Nations, in recent years the fixtures guys have done well making sure [...]

On ranting

If there’s one thing I just can’t abide, it’s ranters. Not the C17th religious nonconformists. Folk who can’t shut up about things. You know the type. The workplace philosophers; the shouters at the TV; people in whose eyes you see the glint of socialist dictatorship. They come in every walk of life. Stupid boxers (*tautology [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The typewriter is more largely used in Mexico than in France. — The Nelson Evening Mail, August 2 1906 . In 1943 a British pilot made an emergency landing on the Italian island of Lampedusa, only to have it surrender to him. Kelo trees live for up to 3,500 years, and remain standing for another 700. [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The telephone has a tendency to render the girl operators left-eared. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 4 1908 . Eight wickets for eight runs is the worst batting collapse in Twenty20 international cricket. St Blaise is the patron saint of sore throats, and of knitting. Estonian literature suffers from a dearth of stories [...]

The Top Fifteen Or So Wittiest Oscar Wilde Quotes – according to his Twitter output (last 24hrs)

1) ‘Think tattoos have to be bold and dark? Think again! Check out these stunning white ink tats!’ 2) ‘You can’t get your childhood back but you can recreate it! Check out these awesome recreation photos.’ 3) ‘Wanna see a real-life Barbie doll? This is not Photoshopped! You’ve gotta see this to believe it’ 4) [...]

How d’you make a Maltese cross?

Fuck his missus.

Eine subtitled mississippianische Re-post (nach Williams)

Have you read Humorous Elements  in the Short Stories and Novels  of the Southern Writer Eudora Welty … in German? Ja, Darling! – * a (reverse) translation of Jonathan Williams’ ‘A Subtle Mississippian Riposte (for L.Z.)’ in Louis Zukofsky, or whoever someone else thought he was: a collection of responses to the work of Louis [...]

Joke

A cafetière falls down the stairs. *¡Bodum CRASH!*

TS Eliot’s MO

I drop ice-cubes down the vests of those who can’t follow my pop-literary references.