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Tag Archives: Nelson Evening Mail

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Norway has five leper hospitals, with about 600 patients. — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 24 1907 . There is an injury called ’tennis elbow of the heel’. The rocks in the Sultanate of Oman are special. Hitler only started all the Nazi bollocks because he was such a godawful painter. There is no necessary connection between [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. We call our day 24 hours, but it is really 23 hours 56 minutes 5 seconds. — The Nelson Evening Mail, September 28 1906 . ‘Facetious’ is the shortest word in the English language including all the vowels in alphabetical order. The English theatre loves the joker. Samuel Beckett notched up 35 runs in first-class cricket. UK funeral directors are [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Electricity is now used to improve the complexion. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 4 1908 . The Chinese Christian warlord Feng Yu-xiang (1882–1948) baptised his troops en masse, using a firehose. Vincent Kompany has suffered more than 40 injuries. Time passes very slowly when you’re in a hippo’s mouth. Poetry must be entered into by a personal encounter, or [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Last year 15,391 persons kept bees in this colony. The number of hives was 74,341. — The Nelson Evening Mail, April 10 1907 . It’s not every day a virgin conceives and bears a son. Indifference to facts is not confined to the alt-right and the hyper-liberal Left. The word ‘minge’ is of Romany extraction. [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. High top boots for dogs are now being sold in the shops of New York. — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 23 1907 . The first pedestrian has been killed by a self-driving car. Starbucks employees do not capitalise their As. The sound of the bagpipe fattens the sheep and lambs of all Arabia. [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The German army has the healthiest troops in the world. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 13 1908 . In January 2001 a BBC documentary crew filmed the everyday goings on in a typical workplace. The skin of fantas melons smells of BO. There’s 25% off Rovic floors. Philip Hensher will read any old crap. [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The average salary of professors at Dublin University is £530. — The Nelson Evening Mail, March 14 1907 . Wherever there is a fire that ravages everything in its path, the protea is the first thing to regenerate. Clive James once voluntarily interviewed the Spice Girls. Manchester has become ‘Womanchester’. Cineworld has landed in [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. A blind chameleon cannot change its colour. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 17 1908 . Nobody ever thinks they’re stupid. All homes bear ethnic odours. Some bags look the same. There’s no point putting shackles on Quinton de Kock. You don’t get many Mini Eggs for a pound no more. The UK is [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. In China the dials of a clock turn round instead of the hands. — The Nelson Evening Mail, September 8 1908 . Benedict Cumberbatch reads Oryx magazine. A piece of pasta (dry) weighs essentially one gram. A man can only care about so many things. Labels are for clothes. In Bosnian there are no words for [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Stocks were first used in England about 1359 A.D.. — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 18 1907 . Women leaders are more volatile than men. The cause of alcoholism is unknown. They’re selling hippy wigs in Woolworths. In Togoloese, ‘fofo’ means ‘revered big brother’. White people, lacking community, must make do with property. If extortionate fares [...]