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Tag Archives: sex

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. More than 6000 editions of the “Imitation of Christ”, ascribed to Thomas a Kempis, have been issued in the past 400 years. — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 21 1907 . The record for the fastest hole in golf is 32.7 seconds. Acres of quiet farmland set a peaceful scene. ‘Bert’ is like a [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Throughout Denmark there is not one person over 10 years of age who cannot read or write. — The Nelson Evening Mail, September 4 1906 . There is a whale whose voice is too low to communicate with other whales. Seatbelts do not statistically improve your chances of surviving a car accident. London’s Mithraic temple is [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The average salary of professors at Dublin University is £530. — The Nelson Evening Mail, March 14 1907 . The persecution of Christians is now worse than at any time in history. Toto’s ‘Africa’ is one of Myleene Klass’s all-time favourites. The Hillsborough disaster is still in the news. Simon Bolivar, a Venezuelan military and [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The Queen won a first prize for bantams at the King’s Lynn Fur and Feather Society’s show. — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 6 1909 . In LA there is a chess set designed for the East India Company, featuring Sikh soldiers vs Afghans. Among a certain kind of people, being ‘passionate about Israel/Palestine’ [...]

Turning Japanese stomachs

Confessions of a Mask by Yukio Mishima Penguin, 170pp, £8.99 . Born two years after the Great Earthquake of 1923, in ‘not too good a section of Tokyo’, Kochan is a sickly child, brought up by stultifying parents and a morbid grandmother. His first reliable memory is of the ‘night-soil’ man, and he immediately becomes [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Volunteers had no recognised existence in England until May, 1859. — The Nelson Evening Mail, September 8 1908 . Everyone in Joe Orton’s social circle was called Kenneth. The word ‘truth’ has no exact equivalent in Welsh. The 8-hour workday doesn’t make sense. Sloths take five seconds to have sex, but a month to digest a [...]

Two birds, one stone

Dear Amorist, I recently made a joke about my pregnant wife – and found myself receiving several pointers. ‘Have lots of sex before the baby’s born,’ said one. ‘Watch loads of movies,’ said another. Couldn’t we just watch porn, and kill two birds with one stone? Yours, &c. ASH Smyth, by email

Failure to launch?

To Daunt’s in Marylebone, last night, where former pretty-boy and nightclub bouncer (and Amorist ‘Fiascos’ columnist) Anthony McGowan launched his latest literary venture, The Art of Failing. Subtitled Notes from the Underdog, the book chronicles a year in the life of West Hampstead’s shambolic would-be flâneur, by way of library mishaps, bad packed lunches, and [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Miss Mary Elsen, of Chicago, is suing Dr. Charles Weser, a local doctor, for 60 breaches of promise during a four years’ courtship. — The Nelson Evening Mail, June 22 1912 . Soldiers are quite fond of children. Chopsticks are the reason the Chinese never invented custard. The senior members of the House of Commons are not [...]

An honest pisstake

Pissing Figures: 1280–2014 by Jean-Claude Lebensztejn (transl. Jeff Nagy) David Zwirner Books, 168pp, £11.95 . From a Cimabue cherub to Szydlowski/-lowska’s Lenin, simply everyone is pissing. In pen and ink, paint on canvas, plaster, wood, stone, polymer, block prints, engraving, chamber pots, aquatints, dishware, film, manuscripts, inlay, public statuary, trick-photography, and in a Japanese video [...]