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Tag Archives: sex

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The honorary freedom of the borough of Rye in Sussex confers upon the freemen the privilege of kissing the mayoress. — The Nelson Evening Mail, March 21 1907 . When you register your child at birth, it immediately becomes the legal property of the state. In WW2 German physicists were able to discern the [...]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The telephone has a tendency to render the girl operators left-eared. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 4 1908 . Eight wickets for eight runs is the worst batting collapse in Twenty20 international cricket. St Blaise is the patron saint of sore throats, and of knitting. Estonian literature suffers from a dearth of stories [...]

How d’you make a Maltese cross?

Fuck his missus.

Love letter (hi/hi!/hey there/info)

Whats’s up/Hey cutie/hottie/handsom, I saw you on a match/dating site sometime last week, i got some/sum goodpic/goodpix/naughtypic/dirtypix/freakypic 4/for you/ya.. message/sms/txt/text my num/numbr/# real quick/fast its 1-208-621-5702/848~565~2757/+12089036473/702.847.0394/702~729~2770. I’m/Im just a 23/24/25 year old gal/female. Im/I’m looking to meet new guys/friends/people and maybe hookup. message/txt/sms/text me if/when you/u get a min/chance/moment plz/please.

Junk mail poem

This trick makes young women fuck you (recovered 5:42pm, Thursday 29th January, 2015) You can use this trick on a girl you know right now – or you can use it on a completely NEW woman to get her horny. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you look like because this trick [...]

Eight debut novels

Currently sitting at 12 to 1 for this year’s Booker Prize, first-time novelist Paul Kingsnorth has set the cat among the pigeons through the disarmingly original expedient of submitting his offering in a fictional language. Composed in what Kingsnorth calls the ‘shadow tongue’ of ‘eald anglisc’, The Wake (Unbound 365pp £16.99) explores one angle of [...]

Feats of Klay

Redeployment By Phil Klay (Canongate, 291pp, £15) ‘Nobody wants to do a year in Iraq’, mutters one of the narrators in Phil Klay’s Redeployment, ‘and come back with nothing but stories about the soft-serve ice-cream machine at the embassy cafeteria.’ No kidding. And Klay (rhymes with ‘guy’) will not have been the first soldier, American [...]

Found

3 times in the Literary Review (October edition): ‘cunts’ – or variant thereof.* What do I win?

Why my ex-wife and I didn’t have that much sex

She thought it was normal to be in bed at 10 o’clock. I thought it was normal to be in bed at 10 o’clock. Pretty soon, it turned out there were two 10 o’clocks.

theASHtray, vol.6

This week delving into the mysteries of Blood Cars, the Olympics, the (very) near future, the poppiest of pop literature, Antarctic exploration, organ donation – of both the voluntary and involuntary sort – and questionable legal defences in late-C.20th Caribbean culture. – For theartsdesk