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Tag Archives: women

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Throughout Denmark there is not one person over 10 years of age who cannot read or write. — The Nelson Evening Mail, September 4 1906 . There is a whale whose voice is too low to communicate with other whales. Seatbelts do not statistically improve your chances of surviving a car accident. London’s Mithraic temple is [...]

Two birds, one stone

Dear Amorist, I recently made a joke about my pregnant wife – and found myself receiving several pointers. ‘Have lots of sex before the baby’s born,’ said one. ‘Watch loads of movies,’ said another. Couldn’t we just watch porn, and kill two birds with one stone? Yours, &c. ASH Smyth, by email

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Miss Mary Elsen, of Chicago, is suing Dr. Charles Weser, a local doctor, for 60 breaches of promise during a four years’ courtship. — The Nelson Evening Mail, June 22 1912 . Soldiers are quite fond of children. Chopsticks are the reason the Chinese never invented custard. The senior members of the House of Commons are not [...]

PostSecret

When my wife’s not here I use her toothbrush as a beard-comb.

The Top Fifteen Or So Wittiest Oscar Wilde Quotes – according to his Twitter output (last 24hrs)

1) ‘Think tattoos have to be bold and dark? Think again! Check out these stunning white ink tats!’ 2) ‘You can’t get your childhood back but you can recreate it! Check out these awesome recreation photos.’ 3) ‘Wanna see a real-life Barbie doll? This is not Photoshopped! You’ve gotta see this to believe it’ 4) [...]

How d’you make a Maltese cross?

Fuck his missus.

Love letter (hi/hi!/hey there/info)

Whats’s up/Hey cutie/hottie/handsom, I saw you on a match/dating site sometime last week, i got some/sum goodpic/goodpix/naughtypic/dirtypix/freakypic 4/for you/ya.. message/sms/txt/text my num/numbr/# real quick/fast its 1-208-621-5702/848~565~2757/+12089036473/702.847.0394/702~729~2770. I’m/Im just a 23/24/25 year old gal/female. Im/I’m looking to meet new guys/friends/people and maybe hookup. message/txt/sms/text me if/when you/u get a min/chance/moment plz/please.

Junk mail poem

This trick makes young women fuck you (recovered 5:42pm, Thursday 29th January, 2015) You can use this trick on a girl you know right now – or you can use it on a completely NEW woman to get her horny. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you look like because this trick [...]

The Pikey Laureate introduces Whitman to the high street

O ye women who go down unto the Co-Op in your onesies: What do you think you look like!?

Story

We still get MamanBébé fliers for our childless former flatmate.