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Tag Archives: advice

Two birds, one stone

Dear Amorist, I recently made a joke about my pregnant wife – and found myself receiving several pointers. ‘Have lots of sex before the baby’s born,’ said one. ‘Watch loads of movies,’ said another. Couldn’t we just watch porn, and kill two birds with one stone? Yours, &c. ASH Smyth, by email

Advice, remembered

‘Never go back to a place where you were happy.’ They will not remember you there.

A sympathetic reminder from the eco lobby, in this, your time of mourning

The ocean is miles away. (Think of the carbon footprint!) Why not have your relatives gather round the downstairs toilet and dump the ashes there?