A S H Smyth

An ale a day Leaves you needing two pees.

My breakfast shake brings all the boys to the yard. They’re like: ‘This is some kind of post-Hemingwayan ironic machismo statement, right?’

The peacock’s cry on a Saturday night. …………………Sunday morning: the hoover.

I I like to have my steaks done ‘like a hockey puck’. Sometimes I actually say this to the waiters (though not in French restaurants, admittedly.) II In Ethiopia, some ‘baristas’ knock used coffee grounds out onto the bare-earth floors. Flat, round, and black. ‘Like a hockey puck,’ I tell people. III I used to play […]