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Reviews (of me)

‘Short but sweet. There is a certain profoundness to 4 line poems… even if they’re not meant to be profound.’

Popshot magazine (who did not publish the poems in question)

‘Made me laugh!’

– Wendy Cope, poet

‘Akin to reading a humorous article on the application of X-rays in stereotactic neurosurgery. But beautifully written.’

– Monalee Suranimala, entrepreneur and nerd

‘A very close read.’

– Geoff Dyer, author

‘Tremendous.’

– Tom Fleming, Deputy Editor, Literary Review

‘What Adam Smyth said.’

– Nicholas Lezard, literary critic, New Statesman

‘Fine work.’

– Richard Coles, priest

‘Up your butt, cricket boy.’

– Robert Muchamore, author

‘Gold medal for ultra-randomest assembly of sentences in human history.’

– Denis Beckett, writer and commentator

‘Finest one-word review I ever had!’

– Matthew Baylis, author, Man Belong Mrs Queen

‘Wonderfully funny.’

– Jean-Claude Lebensztejn, author, Pissing Figures: 1280–2014

‘Terse.’

– ‘Giles’, soldier

‘Thoughtful and generous.’

– Justin Marozzi, author and journalist

‘ASH Smyth sees things differently.’

– theartsdesk.com

‘Too much of the cricket.’

– Matt Thacker, editor, The Nightwatchman

‘Prolix smart-arse.’

– Dan Richards, artist and author

‘Stylish craftsmanship.’

– Gaston Dorren, linguist and author

‘Great T-shirts.’

– Howard Male, musician and author

‘So, were you in the SAS?’

– ‘USAid’ guy

‘Writer, teacher, poet, troublemaker.’

– Deshan Tennekoon, photographer and graphic novelist

‘Completely fucking mad.’

– Igor Toronyi-Lalic, arts editor, The Spectator

‘An absolute bastard to cut down.’

– Marcus Berkmann, author and cricket captain

‘You are the literary equivalent of this.’

– DS Hilton, Esq., photographer, model and wingman

‘You read too much.’

– Anthony McGowan, author

‘You write beautifully. Your thinking is another matter.’

– Alexandra Coghlan, critic/ex

‘Sharp and discerning.’

– Andrew Fidel Fernando, author

‘No lie bro, you’re one of my beard idols… boom!’

– Jay Swan, martial artist

‘TAKE *THAT*, HEMINGWAY.’

– Sarah Perry, author

‘A minor suicidal character in a major Russian novel.’

– Sunila Galappatti, author

‘The incarnation of a tickling gif.’

– Zia Haider Rahman, author

‘Made some of our readers feel uncomfortable.’

Queen Mob’s Teahouse

‘A sweet fellow… very tolerant.’

– Richard Flanagan, author

‘Refreshingly un-pious.’

– Sam Leith, author and Spectator books ed.

‘Makes AA Gill and Jeremy Clarkson sound like soft liberals.’

– Seamus Smyth, Father

‘All this arty stuff and blogging doesn’t seem to be doing you much good.’

– Yvonne Smyth, Mother

‘A good institute.’

– @Unwise_Trousers

‘A dragon?!’

– Prince Michael of Kent