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Reviews (of me)

‘Short but sweet. There is a certain profoundness to 4 line poems… even if they’re not meant to be profound.’

- Popshot magazine (who did not publish the poems in question)

‘Made me laugh!’

- Wendy Cope, poet

‘Akin to reading a humorous article on the application of X-rays in stereotactic neurosurgery. But beautifully written.’

- Monalee Suranimala, entrepreneur and nerd

‘A very close read.’

- Geoff Dyer, author


- Tom Fleming, Deputy Editor, Literary Review

‘What Adam Smyth said.’

- Nicholas Lezard, literary critic, New Statesman

‘Fine work.’

- Richard Coles, priest

‘Up your butt, cricket boy.’

- Robert Muchamore, author

‘Gold medal for ultra-randomest assembly of sentences in human history.’

- Denis Beckett, writer and commentator

‘Finest one-word review I ever had!’

- Matthew Baylis, author, Man Belong Mrs Queen

‘Wonderfully funny.’

- Jean-Claude Lebensztejn, author, Pissing Figures: 1280–2014


- ‘Giles’, soldier

‘Thoughtful and generous.’

- Justin Marozzi, author and journalist

‘ASH Smyth sees things differently.’


‘Too much of the cricket.’

- Matt Thacker, editor, The Nightwatchman

‘Prolix smart-arse.’

- Dan Richards, artist and author

‘Stylish craftsmanship.’

- Gaston Dorren, linguist and author

‘Great T-shirts.’

- Howard Male, musician and author

‘So, were you in the SAS?’

- ‘USAid’ guy

‘Writer, teacher, poet, troublemaker.’

- Deshan Tennekoon, photographer and graphic novelist

‘Completely fucking mad.’

- Igor Toronyi-Lalic, arts editor, The Spectator

‘An absolute bastard to cut down.’

- Marcus Berkmann, author and cricket captain

‘You are the literary equivalent of this.’

- DS Hilton, Esq., photographer, model and wingman

‘You read too much.’

- Anthony McGowan, author

‘You write beautifully. Your thinking is another matter.’

- Alexandra Coghlan, critic/ex

‘Sharp and discerning.’

- Andrew Fidel Fernando, author

‘No lie bro, you’re one of my beard idols… boom!’

- Jay Swan, martial artist


- Sarah Perry, author

‘A minor suicidal character in a major Russian novel.’

- Sunila Galappatti, author

‘The incarnation of a tickling gif.’

- Zia Haider Rahman, author

‘Made some of our readers feel uncomfortable.’

- Queen Mob’s Teahouse

‘A sweet fellow… very tolerant.’

- Richard Flanagan, author

‘Refreshingly un-pious.’

- Sam Leith, author and Spectator books ed.

‘Makes AA Gill and Jeremy Clarkson sound like soft liberals.’

- Seamus Smyth, Father

‘All this arty stuff and blogging doesn’t seem to be doing you much good.’

- Yvonne Smyth, Mother

‘A good institute.’

- @Unwise_Trousers

‘A dragon?!’

- Prince Michael of Kent