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Author Archives: A S H Smyth

absentia, re-mixed

Visuals by Mika Tennekoon.

Brag

Give me a phone and an e-mail account and I can get any woman into bed. Almost any woman. Any literate woman. With an above-average sense of humour. And a penchant for high-wire irony. Any woman I want.

Poetry exercises: 1

Iambic pentameter I had no wish to write my lines like this, but some old bastard made me do it. So…

Christmas afternoon

My stomach holds forth: now, like a blocked-up U-bend; now, a woodpecker.

Mortehoe

My girlfriend cuts mushrooms in time with the radio and I think back an hour to the cliff-edge and the cemetery: the US Army captain … WWII … Korea … d.1984 and a grey stone heart – DOREEN.

Winter

A bracing dawn run on the Devonshire coastline. My nutsack is blue.

NB: to the ex

You always had such a low opinion of my opinion of you.

2307

Ah yes… the Chelsea game. I had been wond’ring. (My train is full of cunts.)

Takes two

When my girlfriend told me she’d cheated, I said that I had too. It seemed the quickest way to hurt her. And to spare her sorrow.

Unhappy endings

A. I’m not one of those women who goes crazy… down there. Q. i) Why? ….ii) Why not? ….iii) … How do you know?